Sarah on Drugs on Her Boy Curse

Sarah Plumb (aka The Plumbinator) has a long and interesting dating history. The rest of us here at WWBDM have yet to figure out the secret to her success, so I set out to find out why boys won't stop dating her.

An interview with our very own (very sleepy) Sarah Plumb

Aubz: How many guys have you gone out with lately?

Plumbinator: I've gone out with [counts on fingers for about five minutes] can we just say ten boys in the last year-and-a-half. There were a couple idiots... They started out fun, but then they go all weird on me. Like, all of them. Not even joking. Things start out great, I feel like they eventually get to know me and know that I'm unique. I like to joke around. And then... I don't know how to describe it. One of the guys I dated, things started out great with him, we were having fun, then out of nowhere it was a complete one-eighty.

SP hiding under a blanket and counting her beaus

Aubz: Where did you meet all those guys?

Plumbinator: I’ve met a lot of the guys I’ve dated through friends of mine. So we'd meet at actives (usually with Dann) and Dann would try to set me up with them. Almost half of the guys I met through Dann. I should say, out of the guys I ended up having a relationship with more than a few days I met through friends.

Aubz: What kinds of dates have you gone on? What do you usually do?

Plumbinator: I’ve gone on all kinds of dates. I remember one time I went on a date and we fixed a tractor. That was really fun. And then I've gone dancing, and some of them take me out to movies. Some do the whole cliche one where they take you to the mini-golfing... Those ones are kind of lame. They kind of are.

Aubz: Highlights? Lowlights?

Plumbinator: I like the unusual dates, the ones that aren't typical. One time I had a Nerf gun war. That was awesome. Another time I played video games with a guy. He introduced me to a game and I absolutely loved it.

I wouldn't say there were lowlights where I was like, oh my gosh, why did I just do that? This is the worst date of my life. But there were dates where I was like, eh. This isn't going anywhere. Type of thing.

Aubz: Would you consider this a blessing or a curse?

Plumbinator: I don't think I'd consider this either a blessing or a curse. None of my relationships have lasted,  but then again I am going out on dates, so I'm learning things I do and don't want in a relationship, which is good. So I feel cursed when I can't get a relationship to last, but I feel blessed for even going on dates.

Aubz: Do you want to tell our readers about how you got asked on your most recent date?

Plumbinator: A guy told me he was bored. My roommate said, "You should show him our blog." So I did, and I said, “What do you think?” And he said, “Well it is really Utah Girl.” And then he said it was cute and that it had some good ideas. So he asked me how I was doing in dating life, and I said I wasn't really dating anyone, so he asked me what I was doing on Tuesday night.

Aubz: Anything else you want to share with the readers?

Plumbinator:
I feel like there should be a note at the bottom of this: I WAS ON DRUGS. I MEAN MEDICATION... You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Aubz: Talking Pictures

I have a question to ask both of you, our readers, because I have a bad habit and I'm pretty sure it's keeping boys from dating me.

How terrible is it when a girl quotes the movie while you're watching it?

I try to reign it in, but if I'm watching Muppet Treasure Island or Beauty and the Beast, I just can't help myself. I know the habit is obnoxious, expecially when other people have never seen the movie before--my main concern is the kinds of movies that I have memorized. See, I know all 8 Harry Potter movies, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Treasure Planet, Thumbelina, Newsies, Horton Hears a Who... The list goes on and on, and all in the same juvenile vein. And I have to tell you, except for The Lion King, I've learned all of these movies in the last few years.

So I guess my question isn't how obnoxious is it, but is it a turn-off when a girl has obviously spent more time in her adult life watching movies from her childhood than, say, reading the classics or ever keeping her room clean? Is this, in fact, keeping boys from dating me? Should I keep this a secret? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Here, have a poll.

How obnoxious is it when a girl quotes the movie while you're watching it?

Hey There Sailor!

So it’s been a while. I think Aubrey and I have been waiting to see if our compadres would weigh in on the blog, but alas, you will have to wait to hear their sweet, sweet tales of singledom. I’ve decided to try to analyze and understand flirting, probably because I’m super bad at it; I will usually either laugh at everything you say or tease you relentlessly until you want to go home and cry. (Who has two thumbs and is a keeper? I’m a Hufflepuff!)   Flirting, I have found, changes depending on location, and today I would like to figure out what the heck gets into people when water is involved. 

 It takes me back to last summer, when I already knew that I would not be one of the first girls to be hit with a water balloon at a ward water fight. I just don’t give a fun reaction, at least not in comparison to a talented and experienced water flirt- these are the girls who seem to have a sign over their head: “Get me wet! I will get mad in the most adorable, feminine way ever.” Yeah. You get me, you may get an entire bucket dumped on you. (Was it worth it!? I didn’t think so.) 

 Water flirting gets more complicated because we are part of a religion that stresses modesty so strongly that when you end up in swimsuits around the opposite sex, it can be intimidating and more than a little awkward. The gentlemen I am aquatinted with are used to seeing ladies in knee-length grandma shorts and a tee shirt at the very least, thus it is very surprising when she’s wearing a tight bodysuit and now her arms and legs are out for display. I am sure these boys are thinking “what the heck, put that away woman (except not really let’s go swimming everyday!)” And as for us ladies, well we are pretty crazy about a farmer’s tan and we do not mind the surprise of you gentlemen looking good in your swim trunks. (He has abs? I didn’t know he had abs…)

   

 So you have this odd combination of vulnerability and attraction that just leads to people doing all kinds of things they would not normally do. I ask you, what is there really to do when you go swimming with a group of friends? You don’t swim laps or just float around aloof from each other, every activity involves touching er’body. Like water basketball or that game where you sit on somebody’s shoulders and try to push the other one over (chicken fighting?) or dunking, or wrestling, or Marco Polo (tag still counts as touching, ha!).

 Recently my group of friends went to a natural hot spring in the area, and we did have an adorable water flirt with us. I love her to pieces, and I covet her ability to be in people’s bubbles and not feel weird about it. Some of the basic aquatic flirting that happened that evening were dunking and scalp massages. I actually love playing with guys’ hair and I am not bad at kneading some guy’s head, but if I tried to give a guy a head massage or establish any other type of contact, I would be unsuccessful, so I usually opt to sit and observe. But sadly, observation doesn’t lead to new-found abilities, it just leads to wildly insightful blog posts. ;)

Rryn and the great plan of happiness . . . eventually

 So if some of you are unaware we are a big gaggle of mormon chicks fighting our way through the horrendous world of the single's ward. I in particular have been fighting the good fight for almost 10 years now and I can happily say it's gotten easier. Not because it sucks less but because i guess i've changed my expectations. It's these expectations that have gotten me into trouble and heartbreak and just when i've tweaked my life plan to where I think heavenly father will say "yes great job this is the plan i have for you" he says instead "oh never mind you're wrong again." In the LDS church we believe that there is a great plan of happiness, that we are all spirit children that came from a pre-mortal existence and there is a post mortal existence as well where we will have the opportunity to spend eternity with God and our families. This is why Mormon girls may get their panties in a bunch (garments in tangle) because we aren't just looking for a hookup or even death do us part. We are looking for a guy who is grade A celestial kingdom material, which, in an ever darkening and sinful world is starting to get hard to find. Not saying I'm perfect i've made mistakes and I am well aware that all of my options have made them as well. The main thing I find the most attractive in a guy is his drive to be a better person, and when that's not there, sorry it ain't happenin' honey. The main difficulty I have besides my lack of prospective suitors is how picky God is being on my behalf. I have been told multiple times when in a situation of mutual "like" or more that they prayed about it and it's not the right thing to do. So my question is, Heavenly Father WHY WON'T YOU LET BOYS DATE ME!?

 

Aubz: The Great Mystery of the 20-Something Universe

As a 20-something college student, I receive dozens of wedding announcements every year.  They paper my fridge, clutter up my junk drawer, swamp my Facebook inbox, and get lost in the recesses of my car.

As a single, 20-something college student, I kinda resent the dozens of wedding announcements I receive every year.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my friends (and indifferent toward the other members of my ward), but sometimes I'm driven to wonder, "How come I don't have a special man in my life?" (Not you, Dad. You don't count. You know what I mean.)

Now, I like to think of myself as a reasonably attractive, interesting, sometimes funny, never slutty 20-something.  These seem like qualities that should land me a reasonably attractive, interesting, mostly funny, sometimes slutty, male 20(or30)-something with relative ease.  For whatever reason, this is not the case.


I was pondering this, the great mystery of the Universe one morning over my bowl of Cocoa Puffs, when I stumbled upon a possible explanation:

I only know 6 single guys, and half of them are gay.

Or maybe it's the Hermione bed head. 

Hard to tell.

Then I thought, maybe it has something to do with that one time I was at a birthday party and I found myself eating cake out of my own hand.

Or perhaps it's because whenever I'm on stage, I remind men how horrible it will be when they have a mother-in-law.




I don't know.  I'm not entirely convinced that these are things that will stop 20-somethings from dating other 20-somethings.

I didn't have any more time to worry about it that morning as I finished my Cocoa Puffs and ran to catch the bus, but whenever I find a big white envelope addressed with flourishy handwriting and smothered in heart stamps in the mail, or stand awkwardly by while my friends PD way too much A, I'm forced to ask the eternally appropriate question, "Why won't boys date me?!"







Hey, I found 10 bucks!